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Links LUPEC |
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midnight drunken special after soup party transmission: there are voices screaming in my head right now. I am a hostess and I am painfully polite, and I hate to see people feel uncomfortable. So while it was going on I kept the voices at bay, and I tried to make the situation okay. I think I did a good job. I smiled and I smoked and I tried to be distracted, and I was glad to have good giggly girlfriends surrounding me and the beer went down smooth and I was careful not to put on any music that would MEAN ANYTHING. I tried not to let him catch me up in the swirl of his eyes and his conversation. I failed miserably at that, because there is no where on earth I would rather be. I tried to make it so that he would talk to HER, since he brought her here. I really did try. But the voices were screaming the whole time, this is just WRONG, this is BAD, this is NOT the right thing to do. If you want to make this work, young man, you can not bring her here. Because we exist like the center of a cyclone, we talk to each other like there is no one else in the room. We can't really help it. I tried to peel this thing off like the layers of an onion, to let go and to be friendly and to even leave the room so that it would not be so strong. I could not and he came into the kitchen and it is just ALL TOO MUCH, see. I know that he thinks it would be nice to all be friendly. It just doesn't work that way. I realize my anger at him really has very little to do with me being in an akward situation. I feel really bad for HER. And I feel like it is going to be the same story repeated endlessly until maybe I get tired or he gets a clue. I honestly don't know what to pray for. |
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