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Monday, Nov. 24, 2003

I am having a hard time tackling the enormous task of telling all about how much Cleveland rocks. It totally does. I think I am just going to with the impressionistic, stream of consciousness style that I have used in the past to sum up stellar weekends. If you need details, email me.

Clifford House B&B--totally awesome. We stayed in the penthouse suite which included a fireplace(unused, as it was in the 70s the whole weekend!) and turntable with the owner's 70s record collection(also unused, sadly, as we succumbed to the lure of cable) For breakfast we had frech toast made with english muffins! Radical. Also, there was a giant gray poodle. He rocked.

Coventry--Big Fun toy store, where I got the bomb ass Alice Cooper magnet set, rocked except for the fact that the lady who worked there kept following me around talking to me about how Steeler's fans are "harsh"(I agree, but I did not go to Cleveland to talk about it)

Record Revolution--no longer the bomb. Pretty sucky, actually, as they have banished all the(overpriced) vinyl to the basement. However, I got a great pirate button, and I got to see Stiv Bators graffitti from 1979(Record Revolution, your prices are too high. Fuck off. Love Stiv)

Tommy's--still as awesome as I remembered it. I had the Uncle Gay sandwich, which was tuna, melted cheddar, onions, mustard, and pumpkin seeds on a pita. It was perfect. Also fantastic fries doused in malt vinegar.

Green Tomato--found the GREATEST gifts for several of my ladies. That store is cuteness personified.

Coventry in general---great because we got to park for free!!

Cleveland museum of Art---I promised myself that I would not get sucked in by the religious art, but I did anyways. I did manage to escape long enough to see the Georgia Okeefe. Completely skipped the Asian room because we would have been there all freakin night. It's an amazing museum and plus FREE!!

Empress Taytu Ethiopean restaurant---I can't believe how awesome that place is. There are grass huts, INSIDE, and you sit under one at a little wicker table on these short bench-seats, and they put the big silver platter with your injera and all your stuff on top, and they bring you hot towels. Bere bere is manna from heaven.

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame---not as cool as the last time I was there, due mostly to the fact that JIMMY'S PANTS WERE NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. What gives? I did get to see the fringy Roger Daltey costume, and a gorgeous Robert Palmer tailored suit, and a coat belonging to the PURPLE ONE. And they had a good Ohio music exhibit but there wasn't anything from Trent. The little goth boys were pretty unhappy about that. The best thing about the whole visit for me was the little bit of interview with Ice T in the Rock and Roll movie where he said "Men just want to smell it and hit it. If women want to change that, they are gonna have to cut it off." And also, I got the Alice Cooper Prime Cuts DVD. But there was some obvious lack of Alice going on. I did what I could to fix it by changing all the interactive video screens to Alice, but the kids just don't understand.

I almost forgot about the amazing photography exhibit by the rock photographer from the Plain Dealer in the 70s. (she turned out to be a lesbian too, we later found out from the gay newspaper, but we didn't know that while we were at the museum) Her photos of Angus, Alice, and Bowie were just stunning. I wish I had bought the book.

Alice Cooper'stown--you are going to think I am just being biased because of my adulation, but the food was really incredible for a sportsbar type place. I had the black and bleu burger with bacon--cajun seasoned black angus, with melty blue cheese, and incredible bacon, and my honeygirl had the BillionDollarBabyback ribs. She was losing her mind over how good the BBQ sauce was. Alice did us right. I got a T shirt and I bought her a hat. It was only right.

Unique Thrift on the West Side---oh, the silk scarves! An unbelievable selection of silk scarves. I could have easily spent $60 on them. I reigned myself in, but I plan to go back some Monday(half price everything!) just for the scarves. Also got a 30 cup percolator for $5. Amen.

bd's Mongolian Barbecue---this is a concept who's time has come. You get a bowl and fill it up with whatever meat, fish, veggies, sauces, and seasonings you want. Then you give it to the cute people with the enormous knives and they stir fry it on a giant round grill made to look like a mongolian war shield. It's cheap and healthy and interactive. The perfect place to take the family. I wish we had one here in da burgh.

After that lunch we beat it out of Cleveland before the game was over and all the Pittsburgh people were also leaving town. We wanted the open road. There were a lot of things we wanted to see and do that we didn't make this time, but the trip was SOOO EASY that I think we'll be taking some day drives back in the near future. Cleveland really is the heart of it all.

the end.

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