and Proud «
« Tuesday, Jan. 04, 2005 »
My motto for the recently deceased suckfest of 2004 is whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I am now strong enough to knock down your house with my little finger, I swear.
The holiday season is a big blur of illness, working, putting out little and enormous fires of various sorts, a couple of nice sweet moments that remind me why I keep trying, and above all, not nearly enough time. I am still MAKING and WRAPPING and MAILING gifts, people. I hope to get them all done in the next two days.
Also in the next two days I hope to figure out for real how to proceed with my life for this year. I cannot continue the way I have been, but I'm not sure what the next best option is. I need financial assistance of the first order. I need to stop allowing other people's emotional states to wreck havoc on my own. I need to REALLY quit smoking (she says, taking a puff...) I need to get rid of a bunch of shit, do my laundry, and get a bed. I need to do this before my sister and her gal arrive for a visit in two weeks. I need to talk to my pregnant priest and find out what the sam hill happened to her over the past three months. I need to get back in touch with my friend in Germany and my friend in Dormont. I need to see my little nephew more. I need to exercise, dye my hair, and go to church. I need to make sure I spend at least one night a week with friends doing something fun and soul-reviving that does not revolve around beer or a lot of money.
This is looking a little like a list of resolutions, which is not something I am prone to. (to which I am prone. I need to stop dangling participles) But maybe it's time.