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welcome. it's 10:35pm on friday night and I slept through the vigils. I was exhausted and scared. now I am listening to Bob Dylan and trying to make my heart slow down. been reading a lot tonight. thinking a lot. wondering if my overwhelming fear and sadness is going to be justified. some part of me could not gather with strong brave courageous people tonight...some part of me did not want to imagine those strong brave courageous people having to deal with the aftermath of whatever RETRIBUTION we visit on our invisible faceless enemies. last night i took a break from the sinking feeling and enjoyed some rock and roll. I was able for about 40 minutes to not think about death and destruction while I videotaped a band. the feeling of intense concentration leaving no room to think about fires and explosions was such a relief. but then the show was over and the TV in the bar was still on. i know the day is going to come when we all feel like we can move past this and talk about other things again. but right now i can not imagine it. the most reassuring thing I have read today: and the most reassuring thing I have heard: and is our purpose not the same on this earth....
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