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2001-09-28

oooh, my brain hurts.

I learned so much yesterday that my brain has been stretched to its limits.

I also thought more yesterday than I have in a long time, and the combination of filling up and excersizing has certainly overtaxed my cranial muscle.

But it is all good, and you may know there is nothing sexier to an aquarius girl than increasing blood flow to the BRAIN.

So I feel good good good today, despite just getting some really bad news from a good friend. Not something I can process just yet; I will have to wait for some more details.

Yesterday, I thought a whole lot about the fact that the Butchies are being protested in Pittsburgh(and apparently other cities on the tour) because they played at the Michigan Women's Music Festival, and the MWMF has a policy of admitting only "womyn born womyn". There are so many different things to think about here that I can barely even get my head around them all.

1)does the fact that the Butchies played at MWMF, or even the fact that they may in fact agree with the womyn born womyn policy of the festival, mean necessarily that they are ANTI-TRANSGENDERED PEOPLE? Especially when they have made a public statement to the contrary?

2)is the policy itself a detrimental thing to the community? where do I stand on separatism in general? is limiting admission to the festival(and no, there are no gender checks at the gate)to women who were born and grew up as women discrimination against women who were born and grew up as men?

3)how do I feel about the people who are organizing the protest in PGH, but who are apparently unwilling to lead a discussion about the issues at hand?(apparently the people who run the co-op space where the show is taking place offered the space for a discussion about the issues. no one has come forward to lead the discussion)

4)how do I feel about the fact that the relatively tiny queercore dykepunk scene is being ripped apart by this?

I can easily answer the last one. I feel really bad. I feel really frustrated. I think that the issue at hand is a disagreement with the oraganizers and voting board of the MWMF, not with the bands who choose to play there, and protesting the bands because they are giving tacit support is a destructive and divisive thing to do. What will be accomplished by this protest? Less people will see the Butchies, a great band with great women who have done so very much for the dykepunk community. Will some people become more educated about the discrimination faced by transgendered people? I hope so. If no one is willing to actually facillitate a discussion, probably not. I am going to try to go and I am going to try to get involved in a discussion with whomever will talk to me and listen to me.

I am not any kind of expert on trasgender issues. I don't know any transgender people.(I don't think) I have some philosophical problems with the idea of changing bodies and medical intervention as a whole but that is deeply personal and something to which I would never hold another person accountable. I personally, right now, support the policy of the MWMF(although I have not been there myself for over 11 years and don't really see myself going there anytime in the future)I have always thought that periods of separatism are important for people who are working to change the larger society. I feel that the MWMF has never been a particularly "progressive" institution---it is by and large old skool with all the good and bad that implies. When I was there, the BIG ISSUE(there is one every year) was whether or not S/M women should be allowed to express their sexuality in the open, given that many women felt their abuse issues triggered by seeing S/M behavior. Everyone there struggled with their own feelings, and attended meetings and discussion and learned alot about their own intolerence and alot about understanding other people's ways of being in the world. I am hoping that the same thing is happening around the issue of transgender people and "womyn-born-womyn".

Almost as if by design, (the universe seems to be knocking me on the head an awful lot these days!!) I went to see Monika Treut, one of my all time favorite filmmakers, speak at CMU. She spoke breifly but mostly she showed one of her recent films---a documentary called GENDERNAUTS about transgender people in the Bay Area. I fell absolutely in love with every one of them and decided that I need to move to SF immdediately. Not just so I can cruise trannies, but also because the people who were not trans themselves but who were in the support community (Annie Sprinkle, Tornado, the various doctors interviewed from the trans clinic) were absolutely gorgeous fantastic beautiful women who seemed to be speaking directly to ME when they talked about their feelings about transgenderism. It left me with even more to think about. I thought my brain was going to explode. I really want to be better educated about this stuff; I want to be able to think and speak in an informed way about these issues and the experiences of these people. I wonder at my own preconceived notions and prejudices(I have to admit that I tend to be powerfully turned on by FTMs, and I tend to be made sort of uncomfortable by MTFs. Although, the boys I usually am attracted to are extremely androgynous and bisexuality is a requirement. what does that say about me?)

OK, my brain is close to exploding again. I have not even begun to talk about all the stuff about Tibet I learned last night. Maybe later.....

I will close with the very sage quote from my favorite boy uttered last night in the midst of the discussion I dredged up about these issues in his livingroom last night:

"we are really lucky to live in a country where whether or not transgendered people should be allowed on women only land is something we can afford to worry about."

Perspective, anyone?

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