 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Links LUPEC |
� |
It's a cold place. Is the heater broken? Could be. I am not wearing icicles but I DID crank the heat up to 80 and it doesn't seem to be having any effect. Was that me the other day complaining about the fact that it was 70 degrees out in December? Whoops. Sorry. Yesterday was a sort of slap you in the face with reality day. TONS of stuff to do at work. NO Christmas shopping done. NO clean underwear. Finances completely bungled. A little free floating anxiety coming on, just because there is SO MUCH I have to deal with that I really don't want to deal with. So when the bookstore manager holiday dinner was cancelled, I went for a big bottle of wine and cigarettes and came home and fretted a little. Of course I was listening to Word of Mouf while fretting so I could only fret so much. I made some calls to try to drum up some soup business, and it seemed like I was not going to get any. Everyone was hedgy and noncomittal. I was of course really hoping to see that boy, and I left a sort of begging message on his answering machine. please please please come over. I couched it in typical flighty "whatever" sort of language, but I think the please please please part was actually in there. After leaving that message I talked to the atticdweller, who was himself hedgy and noncommittal, but who also told me that the faveboy would definitely not be there as he had plans to watch a movie with the girl. Ah, I see. So then I started to place bets with myself over whether or not he would have the strength of character to call and tell me. Which was ridiculous, I know, because he has not shown himself to be that proactive EVER, but it was a nice little fantasy. Perhaps part of the healing process, even. J* arrived and we had wine and beer and chatted and it was good. Listened to Ludy and ate our chili and were just winding down when the atticdweller arrived--Ho-ray! It was so nice to see him. I felt BETTER instantly. Soon after him came the awesome filmmakin dude, who had been lured with the promise of potato bacon soup. I ended up not making that because I thought it was going to be a dud of a soup party, so he had chili instead. Then came the goldenboy, and then came the artworldtravellingirl and her friend for whom I do not have a clever name, and then stealthy and his artistladylove, and then not too long after roomie arrived looking tan from his weekend at the sea. So it was a party party, we talked and laughed and were merry, and J* put on Bad Company but the Ludy would come back, with the most insane opening line ever to a cd, and everyone would stop for a minute and look shocked and then go back to the conversation. Tee hee. Somewhere buried in the conversation over the course of the evening was the news that the mansion will be hosting a new year's eve fest. My mixed feelings about this should be anticipated by everyone. Of course I will go, and of course it will be a fantastic party, and of course I will have a GOOD TIME. But I am sure that I am going to be confronted with the same feeling of despair which sent me home to bed last new year's eve---if I can't be WITH him on New Year's Eve, do I really want to be *with* him on New Year's Eve? Sigh. |
� |
Site by Jilly