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March 12, 2002

This morning I had a hostess cherry pie for breakfast.

I was not going to get anything out of the evil vending machine which sits outside the door of my office and tempts me, but then i saw the red paper and the little hostess guy and i had to do it. There is something about hostess cherry pies that activates deep ancestral memories. They can not be denied.

So I get the cherry pie out of the machine, and I strip off the crinkly waxy paper(a large part of the fun of the hostess cherry pie) and I notice two things:

1-the cherry pie is said to contain "real fruit filling" on one side, and on the other side, it is said to be "artificially flavored."

2-Warrant is in my head.

Despite the confusing message about authneticity, the cherry filling was just as I remembered it. It is very tart and hardly sweet at all, while the sugar frosted crust is very sweet. The perfect combo. It did not taste artificial in the least, which made me wonder what I really know about cherry pies.

So then I was left thinking about Warrant, and realizing that if they wanted to, they could totally become lesbian icons. Many of the lesbians I know can not help singing along when Warrant comes on. They were pretty, but not TOO pretty. Tough and tender. Here in the post-feminist age, there is a somewhat thin line between misogyny that is hateful and misogyny which can be appropriated for our own ends. They might have thought they were walking with a swagger and lording it over millions of screaming teen groupies with their giant hair and ridiculous spiked codpieces. But now their paon to misappropriated virginity is being growled out loud by tough feminist dykes in honda civics in boston, and chorused and echoed by cute butch girls in silk boxers in pittsburgh. It's funny. Viva la revolucion.

swinging to the left and swinging to the right

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