At last! I know what doth trouble me!
Troubles the Disposition of YOUR Body?
I really appreciate the suggestion that I tie a piece of raw weasel meat to my ankle. That is one thing I have yet to try.
They got it right with the lazy, though, lemmetellya. Not so much lately, as I have given it up for Lent, but I have a history of laziness. I was reminded of this history this morning when I dragged out several old journals and began to read through them. None of them go past the 18th page. All of them have several false starts, and each false start has the following qualities:
1)proclaimations that THIS IS THE TIME when I will start meditating and doing yoga in the morning;
2)self-deprecation about the general disarray of my house;
3)mentions of mislaid bills or rent or in one case, tax forms.
Now, I noticed something in this reading over that had never occured to me, it seems: during the course of all of these false starts, I was MARRIED. To a FULLY GROWN HUMAN BEING.
WITH FULL USE OF BOTH HANDS.
I have to wonder how it fell to me, a fully employed feminist woman(with a two hour daily commute), to be completely in charge of all the housework and bills to the point where I was constantly berating myself for not keeping up? Strange. Nowadays, I berate myself less because I am single and completely responsible for my own self and my surroundings. But I have to say: hmm.
Anyways, I am going to try again to do morning pages in an effort to reawaken my creativity. Pray for me.
Today I am starving myself so that I will be really hungry when I meet my artist friend for dinner at Peoples. At least that is the plan. I don't know if I will be able to starve the whole day and still get through cataloging my backstock of computer paper. Today's goal is to make lists of all the stuff I have to offer to others when the store closes.
Also, dumped upon me today were the announcements and tickets and postcards and envelopes for commencement. In the past, student development delivered to us neatly sorted packages of ten announcements and envelopes which we could then quickly stuff into the packages with the caps and gowns. No problem. This time, since our tenure is short and they need to take advantage of my good nature doubletime, they delivered everything to us in separate boxes, which we now must sort and stuff. I am taking this all as a giant zen exercize which will grant me quick passage to the next level when it is my time, but I am frankly surprised, constantly, but the contined ability of the administration to dump things on me while I am trying to get out of the way for their new friends, Barnes and Noble. Sigh.
I have decided negative feelings help nothing.
But a cheeseburger might.
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